Sydney Whitelaw started her day like any other 34-year-old Maine mom: dropped her kid off at school, grabbed some Dunkin’, and took a little drive with the dog. Then, things took a turn.

According to the Oxford County Sheriff’s Office, a deputy “observed a red colored 2020 Jeep Cherokee traveling northbound and being driven in a reckless and unsafe manner.” Maybe Whitelaw crossed the yellow line. Maybe she hit the brakes erratically. Either way, “the Deputy, suspecting the driver may be impaired, initiated a traffic stop.”

This would have been a great time for Sydney Whitelaw to grow up and apologize to the police. Instead, she saw the blue lights, heard the sirens, and made the brilliant decision to floor it.

As I’ve previously written, if you’re being pulled over by an unmarked car or otherwise feel unsafe during a traffic stop you can always call 911 and confirm with dispatch that you’re dealing with a police officer–not an imposter. You can also ask the investigating officer if they can call in backup or a shift manager. But you can’t just make a break for it.

Sydney Whitelaw didn’t care. She led police on an 11-mile chase “northbound on Route 5 through Lovell and into the Town of Stoneham.” Eventually, she pulled into her own driveway, as if that was a legal loophole. Like “home base” in tag. Spoiler: It wasn’t.

Her next move was even dumber. Instead of facing the music, Whitelaw dashed for the door. Deputies quickly took her into custody, noting that “there were no other people inside the Jeep.” Just Whitelaw and her dog.

Sydney Whitelaw’s Facebook rant: “I took the wild card chance”

Sydney Whitelaw was arrested and charged with “criminal speed and eluding an officer.” She was transported to Oxford County Jail, booked, and later released. Then, instead of reflecting on her choices, she took to Facebook for a midnight meltdown. She reposted some astrology memes, an Elon Musk quote, and then typed a wall of text about her recent arrest.

She claimed her dog “hate police,” and her fleeing the cops was an attempt to prevent a dangerous showdown with the poorly trained critter. Never mind that she should have pulled over and asked to speak with the officer by the roadside, away from her car and dog. Never mind that an 11-mile drive with blaring sirens must have worked her poor pup into a needless frenzy.

But Sydney Whitelaw didn’t stop there. “You do realize what’s going on in this country is far worse then the single mom refusing to pull over until she got home with her dog.” Oh, totally. Wasting tax payer dollars and inviting anarchy on the street is a great solution. The real crime here is making a Maine driver follow Maine laws.

Then she really started to pile it on: “I took the wild card chance since we know doesn’t matter anyway when you have the privilege.” The privilege? Finally something I agree with. Try pulling this move in a different car, in a different town, and with a different skin color. Police would PIT-manuerver your rear bumper faster than you can say “poor me.”

Whitelaw even posted a favorite Alice in Wonderland quote to her page: “I’m not crazy. My reality is just different than yours.” Hate to be the one to this: That quote’s not aspirational. Living in your own reality (especially one where you don’t have to follow the rules) is literally the definition of crazy. And something tells me a judge is about to make that very clear to Sydney Whitelaw.

You can see the route of Whitelaw’s grand escape in the video below: